As I was driving today I came to the realization:
finishing these pesky classes I have remaining will make my undergraduate college career 16 years long. SIXTEEN! You guys! Can you even?
I was last in school a few years ago when I took Anthropology 1001 in Fall 2006. When I was 29. It was an evening class (since I have a career), and I was the oldest student in the class. My lab partner’s name was Trisha. She was 19. Our conversations went something like this:
Trisha: Like, ohmygod, I’m like so stressed out right now. I had to work, like, for like, four hours at Subway yesterday. Ohmygod. I don’t know how, like, I’m gonna make it through this semester, if like every, like Sunday I’m gonna have to work for four hours.
Me: (blank stare)
Trisha: Also? Can you meet at 2:30 on Wednesday to go over the homework? Cause I didn’t, like, understand.
No, Trisha, I CAN’T. Clearly, Trisha has never had a full-time job. But she does get really stressed. At Subway.
Now, fast forward to yesterday. 6 years later. And, when I visited the website for this semester’s online course (my second to last…ever), Art History 1002 “What is Art?”. Thank God this class is online, because one of our first assignments was to write a self introduction. I was first to do so (probably because I’m 34 and well, that’s it). Let me share mine with you:
Hi, I’m Jenn. I completed most of my ARTS undergrad from 1996-2001 and have returned to finish the last two classes I have left for graduation (this being one of them). Upon completion, I will have a BA in Art with an emphasis in painting. I currently work for Twin Cities Public Television, helping to support the station by working with public and private companies, and non-profit organizations through sponsorship and underwriting. I also work regionally as a stand-up comedian.
Today, I went back to the website and another classmate put theirs up as well:
Hi my name is Cassie. I am a junior in high school participating at the university through the PSEO program full-time. I like to play golf and other sports. I hope to get a degree in Neuroscience and enter medical school.
WHAT! A JUNIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL? Oh, hells to the no. Now, I should tell you that part of our assignment is to comment on another classmate’s introduction. So, please let me share with you what I’ve worked up to share with Cassie. I think homegirl is in for an awakening:
Way to brag, Cassie. Guess what? You might get knocked up from sexing at a frat party and then not tell your parents and not go to class and get put on academic probation then your “boyfriend” will figure out he’s gay (re: Frat) and drop out of school for depression but not before you change your major and end up in some dead end program like “communications” and then 16 years will go by and you realize you’ve been paying student loans on something you still don’t have. So, I feel like it might be good for you to not put all of your eggs in one basket with that neuroscience thing. Just a thought. Looking forward to working with you in class. Best, Jenn
KIDS THESE DAYS!
This is me, btw.
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